Remembering What's Been Forgotten
by whateverweirdo
Summary: Dean and Castiel used to be spy's, then the explosion happened and Dean thought Cas was dead. Four months later when he walks into a bar only a few miles outside of where the explosion happened and sees the familiar pair of blue eyes staring at him across the room he almost cant believe it's true. Is it really Cas or is Dean just going crazy? AO3- LuciferShipsIt


Castiel doesn't remember who he is, or what he used to be. He doesn't remember that he used to have a partner - on the job and off it. He doesn't remember that he'd been the one to direct a man named Dean in his missions, that he was the voice filtering through his earpiece, that he was the one who did all the research for the spy. He didn't remember that they used to share a large house on the beach, that more often than not they'd be out on that _private_ beach that was all theirs, that they'd video each other just doing stupid things, that they'd laze and kiss in the sun. He doesn't remember anything. Castiel doesn't even remember that he was _Castiel_. Not after the explosion that had destroyed the headquarters that he worked at. The only thing Castiel remembers is waking up in a hospital that had deemed him a 'John Doe'. He had no ID, and he technically had no records.

No one knew what to do with him. That is, until the small town he'd woken up in decided to take responsibility for him. An old man, named Joshua, that worked at a local bar took him in, gave him clothes to wear, a place to sleep, and a place to work. The bar became his home and job, and the man decided he'd call him Jimmy, give him his own last name as well. Jimmy Novak, bartender extraordinaire. He was pretty normal, save for the fact he was great with electronics, and he didn't know how he was. He tended the bar, though, most of the time, and the old man spent time with his family. Jimmy cataloged the faces that passed in and out of the bar - recognized regulars eventually, learned names, and even became friends with most of them. There were a few passer-throughs every now and then, and Jimmy usually offered them an ear, listening to their woes, or their journeys. He'd always loved a good story after all. He'd been tending to the bar on a Saturday, most of the customers gone as it was nearing the early, early hours of morning. Jimmy never slept well - he'd suspected it was because of dreams filled with burning heat - so he'd always taken the night shift, napping during the day. That was the moment when a passer-through came in the doors. he didn't look, not at first, putting a bottle away, but when he did look up, he froze. Those eyes were awfully familiar - a bright, starting green that nearly knocked his breath from his chest. And the man's face, too. He was the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.

Dean could remember the day his world was over. He was in an airport in South Korea, waiting for his delayed plane to arrive. After that he would get a week off and he was looking forward to that, just another week of lazing around with Castiel. The plane was eight hours and twenty three minutes late, and when the pilot got there he looked terrified. They never found Castiel, he was presumed dead. Dean stopped working. What was the point of working without Castiel? He left the house on the beach and moved to a small apartment closer to his brother. Now, four months later, Dean was on a road trip. A freaking road trip, of all things, he didn't want that. It was better than staying home though. Like every night when he wasn't driving, Dean decided to visit the local bar. He considered driving past this town, or this state at all. That was where Castiel had died, after all. But there he was, walking into a bar and not looking up until the bartender did. For a moment, Dean thought it was a cruel trick of his mind. Maybe he was finally losing it, his sanity was fine because there was no way it was Castiel. But slowly, the tiny flicker of hope that had always been there began to show. They never found a body. And god, he looked exactly like Castiel, the same dark hair and blue eyes, and the lips and stubble, and his hair was a little longer than Dean remembered it but it was him. It had to be him. Unable to speak, Dean opened and closed his mouth a few times, his breath coming out shaky.

Jimmy shook himself from the trance like state he had been in. 'It's rude to stare.' He chided himself.

"Go ahead and take a seat anywhere. I'll be with you in a moment." He turned back to a regular, and good friend of his named Balthazar. The whole time he was taking Balthazar's order he could feel those too green eyes boring into his back, and frankly it was very distracting.

Dean's shock turned into confusion. What was Castiel doing here? And after all this time, why was he not happy and excited to see Dean? They thought he was dead - why hadn't he even called? He could've called Dean, they had each other's numbers and skype and emails, and so many other methods to stay in touch in case something happened, in case they got separated. Still feeling as if he was in a hallucination Dean seated himself at a booth where he could have a perfect view of Castiel. He didn't want to let him out of his sight.

Jimmy crossed the room and grabbed a bottle of scotch off the counter behind the bar. He pulled out a cup and poured a few fingers into it before heading back to Balthazar. After Balthazar had confirmed he didn't need anything else, Jimmy wove his way over to the handsome stranger from earlier. He had to have seen him somewhere before, right? He was so familiar, but Jimmy was positive he would have remembered if someone as good looking as him had walked into the bar before. He let out a sigh and plastered on a smile, he probably had a girlfriend waiting for him somewhere and he definitely didn't look like he had any interest in men.

"Alright, sorry about that. What can I get you?"

Dean was still staring at the man as he approached him, watching every single move he made with sharp eyes. This had to be Castiel, it wasn't just the looks either. It was the voice, the expressions, the way he walked, everything! Dean knew every single thing about him, but he couldn't understand what was going on.

"G-What?" He choked out, voice a lot shakier than he'd expected it to be. Every instinct in him told him to get up and pull Castiel into a tight hug, kiss him, hold him, cry with him, anything he could. "Cas?"

Jimmy furrowed his brow, and tilted his head to the side slightly, a motion Balthazar told him he did everytime he was confused.

"I'm sorry, what?" What was Cas? Why did that sound familiar too? Dammit, why was everything about him so familiar? He kept his smile in place trying to hide his conflicting emotions.

Castiel's confusion hit Dean like a brick wall and he looked up at him, wide eyed. He even did the head tilt, for god's sake.

"What- what do you mean what?" He asked, swallowing thickly. Even now Dean could still recognize the confusion behind Castiel's smile. "Cas. You- you're alive." He finally managed.

"Yes," Jimmy said slowly, as if he was talking to a child. ""I'm alive, but I think you have me confused with someone else. I'm guessing this, Cas, is your friend, but my name is Jimmy. I'm sorry, are you going to order something?"

Every word the man said hurt even more than the last one, and he shook his head.

"No, you can't- you gotta be him." Maybe it was someone else, maybe he was making an idiot out of himself but there was no way in the universe that this wasn't Castiel. He knew his partner when he saw him. Without much thought Dean pulled his wallet out and found the folded photo he kept there, wrinkled and starting to fade from the amount of times he took it out. It was a photo of him and Castiel on their beach, hair wet from swimming. Dean's arms were wrapped around Castiel from behind and his head was on the other's shoulder, both smiling. "You can't- you have to be."

Jimmy watched warily as the man pulled a picture out of his wallet. From his position he couldn't see what was on the picture, but the man's face softened slightly as he gazed at the picture.

"Okay," Jimmy said, turning back to the bar. "Feel free to sit there and stare at your picture, but I have work I have to get back to."

"Wait!" Dean said before he could stop himself, and he really didn't care. That was Castiel, he was certain of it, it couldn't be anyone else. Dean knew people.

"That's... You don't remember that?" He asked, voice half broken as he held up the photo for the man to see. "You don't- you don't remember me?"

Jimmy turned around and looked at the man's face, seeing how desperate he was Jimmy took the picture out of his hand and brought it closer for further inspection. There were two men on a beach, normal. One of them was the man sitting in front of him, again normal, it was his picture after all. Then there was someone standing in front of the man grinning broadly, his hands brought up to hold the others as they wrapped around him. That was him, wait what? Why was he in a picture with this man? A sudden rush filled Jimmy's head, and he brought a hand up to his forehead. images were flashing across his vision, a big house, a private beach, water flying through the air, a hand here, a shoulder there. Jimmy gasped and shoved the picture back at the man.

"I... I'm sorry. No... I... I have to get back to work."

Dean looked up at Castiel, looking lost. He couldn't not remember him, that was Castiel. Castiel had to remember him, they've been together through so much, it couldn't be happening. It just couldn't.

"Cas, you don't- you have to remember. It's me, it's Dean." He quietly said, ready to pull out his phone and show the man all of the pictures of the two of them, everything that he couldn't stand to delete.

Dean. Another head rush, this time with the name Dean playing over and over. Jimmy swayed on the spot, at least the man had a name now. The way Dean was looking at him had his heart breaking, which was weird because he had only met him 5 minutes ago.

"Well, again, I'm sorry, Dean." Another head rush. He put his hand to his forehead again and turned towards the bar. "I'm not Cas, I told you my name is Jimmy, Jimmy Novak." Jimmy mentally kicked himself, yes, like giving Dean his last name would make him believe he wasn't this Cas, he walked over to the bar and slid behind it resting his lower back against the bar, staring at the back wall.

Dean looked down at the table again, breathing shakily as he tried to calm himself down. He knew this was Castiel, it had to be. But then again, why did he not remember him? Was he lying? No, he couldn't be. Castiel was an amazing liar, but Dean could always tell when he wasn't telling the truth. This was Castiel. His Cas. And Dean would be damned if he couldn't make him remember.

Jimmy brought his hands to his temples and rubbed them as he closed his eyes. The images floated back to him, but not quite as painful or as insistent this time. He examined each one closely, noting that the beach he had seen in his head earlier looked a lot like the one in Dean's picture. He shook his head and dropped his hands, job. right. Jimmy grabbed a rag from the pile of clean ones, wet it and started wiping down the bar, just to give his mind something else to think about and his hands something to focus on.

It took fifteen more minutes of quietly watching Castiel before Dean decided to do something. He couldn't just sit there while the love of his life didn't even remember who he was. Tucking the wallet back into his pocket, Dean stood and went to sit on a stool at the bar, right in front of Castiel.

"Hey, um, I- look, man, I'm sorry about earlier." He offered a small smile. He just needed to get Castiel to remember him, that's all. "You just look a lot like my husband, he's... I had a small freak out, I guess. So sorry about that."

Jimmy looked up when Dean sat in front of him. He looked at him critically, head tilting slightly again. Huh. 'I guess I was wrong about not being gay.' he thought before speaking.

"It's fine." Jimmy said as he continued his slow procession down the bar wiping it off. "Did you need something? Decide to finally buy a drink perhaps?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, that- that'd be great." Dean nodded and bit his lip. It hurt to look at Castiel and talk to him like they didn't know each other, but Dean was filled with determination. Now that Castiel was alive, he wasn't going to lose him again. "Um, just- just a beer, please."

"Alright." Jimmy said tossing his rag down. He pulled out a tall glass and placed it under the tap, filling it to the top with practiced accuracy. Balthazar called his name from across the room and he set Dean's beer in front of him.

"I'll be right back." He returned a few moments later with a twenty in hand and made his way over to the cash register.

"Thanks." Dean gave a half smile and took a sip of the beer, eyes following Castiel as he went across the room then returned. "So, you from here?" He asked when the man returned. The explosion happened four months ago. It was not too far from here. He needed to find out enough about 'Jimmy'.

"Ya, sort of." Jimmy said pressing buttons on the register while he spoke. He made a frustrated noise, "This damn thing never works right." He mumbled as he set the money on the counter beside him and started digging in a drawer under the register.

Dean couldn't help but smile at the small frown on Castiel's face. He missed even that. Every thing Castiel did made him want to jump over the counter and kiss him.

"Sort of?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Jimmy looked up from the drawer once he found the screwdriver he had been looking for.

"Uh, ya. I think im from around here. I showed up here a few months ago, couldnt remember a thing, but Joshua took me in and gave me a job." As he spoke Jimmy turned the cash register around and started unscrewing the back panel. "What about you? I haven't seen you here before, you from around here?" He asked as he set the back panel next to the money on the counter.

"I'm, uh, travelling. Just passing by..." Dean told with a slight shrug as he watched Castiel tinker with the cash register. He could remember one time at home when Castiel was trying to unscrew something and the screwdriver hit him in the eyes. Dean was torn between laughing and taking Castiel to the hospital then. "Couldn't remember a thing? Wow." That made sense, it went along with the story. "How long ago, did you say?"

Jimmy looked up from the open back of the register and set the screw driver down also. He reached back into the drawer pulling out a flashlight. He tapped it against his chin a few times before flicking it on and angling it into the mess of wires underneath the machine.

"Three months and twenty four days, if my math is right and Joshua got the date correct."

That didn't leave much options for Dean, if he had any doubts.

"That's- wow." He breathed out. "And you're saying you couldn't remember anything... Not- not even your name?" He asked as he tried to keep his voice steady. He didn't want to scare Castiel off again, that was the last thing he wanted.

"Nope." Jimmy said seeing the few wires that were out of place and stripped. He shoved the flashlight into his mouth freeing up his other hand. He grabbed the electrical tape out of the drawer and reached inside the register, brow furrowed in concentration.

"And you... You have no way of knowing who you are?" Dean asked, his heart hammering in his chest. Biting his lip, he leaned over the counter a bit and furrowed his brow. "You okay? Need any help with it?" Of course not, Castiel was a genius when it came to anything that even had to do with electronics.

Jimmy shook his head, rearranging his jaw so he could see better. He grabbed two of the wires pressing them together, watching the spark they produced and dropping one in favor of a different wire. When the two touched this time and produced a much more manageable spark he brought up a piece of tape and wrapped it around the two wires being careful as to not burn his fingers on the exposed wire. He repeated this process with another set of wires and attached the remaining wire into an empty hole in one side of the wall. He retreated from the cash register and pulled the flashlight out of his mouth with a small pop.

He turned the machine around again and pressed a few buttons smiling when the drawer slid open then looked over at Dean.

"I know what you're getting at, but I stand by what I said earlier. I don't think I'm...Cas? Was it?"

Dean looked down at his beer for a moment, letting out a small sigh. "Yeah, sorry. It's just- you know how when you lose someone, you just start seeing them everywhere?" He looked back up at 'Jimmy', biting his lip. "Cas- Cas was my husband, and he was killed not too far from here almost four months ago. And they never found his body, and I guess- maybe it's all in my mind. I miss him. He was my entire world..." He quietly said, absently brushing his thumb over the tip of the glass.

Jimmy picked up the money shoving it into the drawer and replacing the back of the register. He glanced at Dean as he put the flashlight, screwdriver and tape away.

"I'm sorry. That must be hard." Looking at the way Dean seemed to deflate a huge sadness spread throughout him. He wanted to wrap Dean in his arms and apologise. Apologise? Apologise for what? He was losing his head. 'you have only known him for half an hour, stop it.' He told himself, the funny thing was, it felt like he had known Dean longer.

Dean took a sip of the beer again, trying to swallow down the sadness. That was Castiel, it had to be.

"It is." He quietly murmured and let out a small sigh. "His full name was actually Castiel. Not that it's any better than Cas, that was just a nickname." Maybe if he'd tell Castiel enough about himself he'd remember. "He liked the nickname better though."

A strong sense of familiarity followed the word Castiel, but Jimmy brushed it aside.

"I don't see why, I like Castiel much better than Cas." He said as he straightened up and reached for his rag again.

Dean had to take a deep breath to remind himself that Castiel just didn't remember, that was it. A small, sad smile was on Dean's lips as he spoke.

"I gave him that nickname. Castiel was obviously from his parents, but he hated them. They were homophobic assholes, wouldn't even come to our wedding. Or to his funeral. Cas... Guess it has a sentimental value."

"Oh." Jimmy said as he picked up the rag and continued to wipe the bar down. At the mention of Castiels parents a red hot anger boiled through him. 'Stop It!' He practically screamed at his body. There was no reason for these feelings to rise up in him, he was happy with his job and with his life. Even if there was a tiny part of him that always felt empty. Come to think of it, Castiel hadn't felt that since Dean walked in. 'NO, he just lost someone, there is no way in hell that I am going to take advantage of that!' Jimmy shook his head and continued wiping as if he wasn't waging war with himself.

Dean watched Castiel carefully at the mention of his parents. Maybe he just needed to get a reaction out of him, make him feel, maybe then he would remember. Dean knew he would do whatever it took.

"Yeah..." He sighed softly and bit his lip. "We had this really nice house, on the beach. It was ours." He told 'Jimmy' with a soft smile.

The image of the house popped into Jimmy's head again and he smiled softly.

"Big white thing, with floor to ceiling windows facing the beach?" He ventured as he turned around to throw the rag into the dirty bin.

Dean almost froze, then tried to bite back the smile that was slowly creeping up his face.

"Yeah, and from the bedroom you can see the beach, we had one of those windows there. In every room in the house, actually, except for the bathroom." He let out a small chuckle.

"Really?" He asked turning around quickly. He hadn't expected to be right, that was just a picture in his head. He let out a breath trying to calm himself down, what if he _was _Cas? No, he was Jimmy that was fact. He couldn't afford to think like that. He leaned on the counter and gave his full attention to Dean now that there was nothing else to do, he tried to calm himself down by counting backwards from one hundred as Dean spoke again.

Dean nodded, seeing the disbelief on Castiel's face. Was he starting to remember? "Yeah. We got the place a couple of years before we got married, that's where we got engaged, where we spent our honeymoon... Where I last saw him." He told with a slight sigh, biting his lip. "We moved there to be close to my brother, he lives in California too. His name's Sam, he and Cas would always get nerdy about whatever they were talking about."

"Sam?" He knew a Sam, didn't he? No, yes. The flashing images came back again and he saw a tall man with long hair standing next to him, pointing at something and talking animatedly. "Thats, uh... Thats nice."

Dean could see the confusion over Castiel's face, and he wondered if he was remembering. If anything he said meant anything to the man. It had to.

"Yeah." He gave a half smile. "Yeah, my- my little brother. And there was his fiancee too, Jess. She actually knew Castiel when they were kids, so it was a surprise for the both of them to meet again like that."

Blond hair filled his vision this time as a young girl ran around the bar. He followed her with his eyes until she ran into the storage room. He was going to say something to her, but the next second the girl walked out of the room and she was older, much older. Her braid was longer and she was hanging off of the tall mans arm, all smiles and giggles. She looked over and saw him, her eyes widened in surprise and she squealed, the noise piercing his eardrums. None of the images had had voices, Jimmy didn't know how much more his brain could take.

"CASTIEL!" The woman shouted, as she detached from the tall mans arm and ran straight into him, well more like through him. she burst into colors as she collided with him and Jimmy staggered back holding his head as pain shot through it.

Dean's brow furrowed as he watched Castiel's expression shift into something that was almost fearful, then he was clutching his head and Dean didn't hesitate to lean closer.

"Hey, hey, you okay?" He asked, voice serious and professional, yet warm and concerned. "Talk to me."

Jimmy waved his hand towards Dean and started counting backwards again. He got all the way to 63 before he even thought about speaking again, the pain had subsided some now.

"No, I'm... Yes. I'm alright." He said as he ran his hands down his face and let out a huge breath.

Dean still looked at Castiel suspiciously, not quite believing him.

"Are you sure?" He slowly asked. He hoped he didn't say anything that harmed him, he didn't want that. He needed Castiel to be safe and happy. And maybe... What if this life was the way it was best for him? He quickly pushed that thought away. There were plenty of people who wouldn't hesitate to kill Castiel once they found out he was still alive, and they undoubtedly will. He was safer with him. "I know first aid, if you need anything..."

"No, no. Thats not necessary. Just a migraine." The girl had called him Castiel. Why has she done that? This was infuriating, his own mind was playing tricks on him. "I'm sorry, I didnt mean to interrupt. Please, continue." If he was seeing these things because of Dean's story Jimmy wanted to know all of it.

Dean nodded slowly, his eyes still worried as he looked at Castiel.

"Oh, um, right." He nodded. He was telling Castiel about Jess. "Jess is probably the best person in the world. She's a doctor, and she looks like a Disney princess, with the whole blonde hair blue eyes thing. And she volunteers at animal shelters in her free time, it's almost scary how good she is. She got me and Cas to join her a few times, when we weren't busy with work... Cas loved it, so I came with him, even though I'm allergic to cats."

Jimmy smiled at Dean. "You say it like you two worked together, did you? You and Cas I mean."

It was weird hearing Castiel say his own name, but not weirder than the current situation.

"Yeah, we did." He confirmed with a small smile. If 'Jimmy' was going to ask him about his job he wasn't sure what to do. Tell him or not? This could be important for him to remember but on the other hand, Dean wasn't supposed to talk about it.

"Oh, do you mind me asking what you did?" Jimmy asked as he leaned back onto the bar, looking at Dean expectantly.

"Well..." Dean trailed off, before remembering an old joke he had with Castiel. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." He told with a small grin, wondering if 'Jimmy' would remember that. How before meeting up with Anna, Castiel's sister, they weren't sure what to tell her about their job, and that was what Dean had offered. Castiel playfully punched his shoulder but didn't stop smiling the whole evening.

Jimmy snorted and pushed Dean's shoulder as he stood up and looked at the clock. Still two hours till closing, he should probably make sure that they were stocked for tomorrow.

Dean smiled a little and glanced down at his half full glass. Being around Castiel always helped him with his drinking.

"I'm really not supposed to talk about it." He admitted, a half smile on his face. "But that's what got him killed."

Jimmy looked over at Dean. "Really? What are you, a spy?" He laughed as he walked back into the storage room to grab another few bottles of brandy.

Dean bit his lip and gave a small shrug. "Maybe." He winked and took another sip from his drink. Honestly, he just wanted Castiel back. "I don't do that anymore though, I quit after Cas died. Been taking this road trip since... We always wanted to take a road trip. Quit the job in a few years then take a few months and travel... We were going to have a family..." He trailed off, swallowing. Castiel had to remember.

Jimmy blushed and hurried into the storage room grabbing a few bottles of brandy and heading back out to the bar. He listened to Dean's story in silence aa another strong sense of guilt and sorrow pass through him. He placed the full brandy bottles behind the half empty one.

"I wish there was something else I could say besides l'm sorry."

'You could say you remember' Dean's brain provided but Dean himself gave a small, sad smile to Castiel.

"Yeah, me too." He murmured and looked down at his glass for a few moments before looking back up at Castiel. "It- it was good though. What we had... Most people don't have that, I was lucky."

Jimmy smiled at Dean again and returned to the position he had been in before, leaning against the table.

"Sounds like he was lucky to have you too. Now, you said road trip. By yourself?"

"Yep." Dean nodded as he leaned his elbow on the bar, looking up at Castiel. "I didn't- I didn't want to go. My brother said I needed to get out of the house, and so I'm here." He said, his smile slightly bitter. "Been driving for about a month now. I'm from California."

"Wow a month by yourself, sounds... boring." Jimmy finished lamely. "Sorry, I don't mean to offend, but that sounds oftly quiet all by yourself."

"It is." Dean nodded, letting out a small sigh. "That's why I was going to do it with Cas, now it's... It's for the memories, I guess? I just miss him so much, I can't- I keep waking up every morning expecting that he'll be beside me. And he's not. And like this it's better to be alone for a while, just let it sink in... I miss him so damn much." He needed Castiel to see that, to remember. He had to remember.

The sadness that filled Dean's voice felt like it was choking Jimmy. He reached a hand out a rested it over Dean's hand.

"Hey, it will get better." He said trying for a smile but Dean was so sad it was killing him on the inside.

Dean barely resisted the urge to grab the oh-so-familiar hand and tangle their fingers, pull Castiel close and never ever letting him go again.

"I don't want it to get better. I want him back." He whispered, desperation obvious in his voice. "His job was more of a desk job than mine, sort of, I did field work. And every time I got back home, I'd still cook him dinner, and he'd be so happy... He tried to make me dinner once, almost burned the whole kitchen down." He began just telling random details, he needed to do everything that he could to get him to remember. He needed Castiel.

Someone use to make dinner for him. He could see the silhouette of someone standing in front of a window. He could see his mouth moving but no words were coming out. The same went for all the other things Dean said, as he told the stories Jimmy could see them play out in his head. He tried smiling at Dean's words, but the images kept geting in the way.

Eyes fixed on Castiel's blue ones, Dean continued telling the small stories of their day to day lives.

"For his last birthday we went to the zoo, and he'd never been there before, so he tried to feed his sandwich to the penguins. We got kicked out." He told with a small smile. "We were together for over seven years, and still... We never- we never got tired of each other. Even after fights, we'd be pissed at each other but then he'd go get a pie from the local bakery, and I'd put his favorite movie on, and we'd apologize and it... It would be okay."

Jimmy smiled widely. "Apple..." He murmured as he stared at an unseen bakery worker in front of him.

Dean looked at Castiel in wonder and nodded.

"Yeah, that's my favorite." He murmured. "Wonder if you know why."

Jimmy's smile softened as he stared at the bakery worker only he could see.

"His mom use to make Apple cinnamon pie for him whenever he had a nightmare. He'd wake her up and she'd just smile at him and ask if he wanted to make a pie with her. They'd be up till three in the morning making pie. He won't tell anyone this, but he still gets nightmares, it's kinda adorable. I'll wake him up and ask him if he wants to make a pie, he just smiles at me and tells me I can't cook to save a life, so of course he would have to come. You know, its funny, i dont even remember why we're fighting anymore."

Dean watched Castiel as he spoke, blinking away tears as he felt a lump form in his throat.

"And then we'd bake the pie, and you'd somehow end up getting batter all over your face and I'd be covered in flour, and our kitchen would look like hell and we'd almost have a fight over whose turn it is to clean, but the solution is cleaning it together. You know, which only means now we're soaking wet too." He told with a small smile.

Jimmy blinked as the bakery worker faded out if his vision only to be replace by a messy kitchen, the silhouette wasn't a silhouette anymore, there were clear facial features and Dean stared back at him covered in water and smushy flour.

"You've got flour on your nose again." He said absently as he reached up to brush a hand across Dean's face.

Dean almost shivered when Castiel's hand brushed over his face and he leaned into the touch. Oh god, how much he missed it.

"Probably because you threw it at me." He murmured with a soft smile. "You have bubbles in your hair. How can you wash away bubbles?" It always made Castiel laugh whenever he said that, not because it was funny but because it was late and they were tired and happy.

Jimmy laughed at Dean's comment and cupped his face running his thumb over Dean's cheekbone

"I only threw it at you because you said I couldn't hit a moving target if it was standing right next to me. You asked for it." He said smiling up at Dean.

Dean leaned into the hand on his cheek and smiled at Castiel. Was he coming back to him?

"But that's flour, anyone can hit anything with flour. What about the time we played darts and you almost hit Sam in the eye? When he was on the other side of the room?"

Jimmy laughed at the memory.

"He moved, no one was hurt and if i remember correctly my aim was only so bad because _someone_ was trying to cheat his way into winning by tickling his opponent."

Castiel was remembering, Castiel was remembering. Dean wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him close.

"I wasn't tickling you. My hands were just on your sides. And my fingers were moving. If you wanna call that tickling..." The smirk was evident in his voice.

"Oh, shut up and eat your damn pie." He said leaning forward and crashing his lips against Dean's.

A small whimper escaped Dean's lips at the surprising kiss but he didn't hesitate to return it, leaning over the bar and carding his fingers through Castiel's hair. Four months. Four months without Castiel's kisses, without feeling his touch. Four months thinking he was dead, and now he was back. Dean didn't even realize when tears started falling from his eyes. He never cried, especially not in front of people. The only exceptions were a few occasions with Castiel, and Castiel's funeral. This moment was now added to the list too.

The resounding shock of the kiss was like a blow to Castiel's chest he stumbled back, breaking the kiss with Dean and knocking a few bottles over from the counter behind him.

Images were crashing around his head, starting with his childhood, Jess. He remembered her now, she wouldn't leave him alone until he agreed to play cops and robbers with her. He always ended up being the cop because he was slower and Jess never liked being caught. He remembered walking into the department and being partnered with Dean, God, he hated him those first few weeks. He was obnoxious as all get out. He remembered their first kiss, on a dare. He remembered that that one kiss eventually evolved into more and then they were inseparable. He remembered how it disgusted Sam would pretend to be whenever they would kiss in front of them he'd tell them to get a room and Cas would always respond with not till we're married. Of course they had already had sex, but it was the thought that counts. He remembered Dean responding after one of the many times he said it and saying. "Well then why don't we?" Castiel had been so happy he nearly flipped out of his chair. He remembered their marriage and how he felt like he could fly during it. Then of course , he remembered the explosion, the pounding in his ears the blood all over the building as he wabbled outside, he thought he heard footsteps behind him, but he blacked out before he could turn around. He also remembered being Jimmy and now Dean was back he was back and okay and oh God is he crying? Castiel surged forward and grabbed Dean's shoulders bring him into a huge hug. "I missed you." He murmured against his neck as his own tears started falling down his face.

A choked sound escaped Dean as he wrapped his arms around Castiel, not even bothering with the bar anymore. He jumped passed it and pulled Castiel into a tighter hug, holding him as close as he could.

"Cas." He whispered. Castiel missed him. He remembered him. That was his Castiel. "I missed you too, so, so damn much. I thought you were. I thought- I thought I'd never see you again. Cas."

Castiel crashed against Dean and held him tight. He didn't realise it as Jimmy, but the small emptiness he had been feeling was him missing Dean. He shushed Dean reaching a hand up to rest on the back of his neck.

"But I'm fine. I'm okay and if I would have remembered I would have called as soon as I could."

"I know you would of, I know." Dean whispered and clung close to Castiel, burying his face in his neck. "I was so scared, Cas, I can't- I can't believe you're here. You're alive, I thought- I thought..." He trailed off and pressed a small kiss to Castiel's neck, taking a shaky breath.

Castiel shivered at the kiss to his neck and pulled back, bringing Deans face up for a proper kiss that wouldn't get interrupted by memories again.

Dean kissed back desperately, pouring all the love he felt for Castiel into the kiss. There were still people at the bar but Dean couldn't care less. Why should he? That was his Cas. His Cas was alive and here and kissing him.

Castiel Kissed Dean back matching his enthusiasm to a tee, until a thought occurred to him. "Dean?" He asked a note of warning in his voice.

Dean pulled back a little, suddenly worried at the tone of Castiel's voice. Had he done something wrong? "What? What's wrong?" He asked, eyes scanning over Castiel's face.

"Did you sell my house?" He asked staring at Dean his face completely void of emotion.

"What?" Dean asked, his eyes widening a little. "No, of course not!" He almost laughed at that. "They- they never found your body, I kept hoping... And besides, I couldn't do it. It's our house, I couldn't... I just found a small apartment close to Sam. I quit. Tried to take a road trip."

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Dean before he leaned into him again, soaking up his warmth.

"Good. Its one of a kind and I might have had to skin you if you sold it. Wait, you quit? Why?l"

Dean chuckled softly and held Castiel close, pressing their foreheads together.

"I didn't want to do it without you." He murmured. "Hearing someone else's voice in my ear every day... I don't- I didn't want to. I couldn't do it."

Castiel smiled and leaned forward pressing a kiss to Dean's lips before someone clearing their throat got his attention. Looking over Castiel could see everyone in the bar was staring at them. He brought his eyes back to the man standing in the other side of the bar.

"Oh, sorry!" He said stepping away from Dean. "Do you need something Rufus?"

Dean looked around in half amusement and bit his lip, looking up at the gruff man who ordered a beer from Castiel. Dean leaned against the counter and watched Castiel adoringly, a smile on his face.

"Can't believe you became a bartender." He teasingly said.

"Shut up." Castiel said flicking Dean on the nose as he passed him on his way to grab a glass. "How many businesses do you know hire someone who doesn't even know their own name."

"Exactly, so put the guy who can't even remember his name when he's sober around a lot of alcohol. That's just brilliant." Dean chuckled and bit his lip. "You're gonna quit, right? Come home?"

"Why, are you worried I like it here better than I like you?" He said wrapping his arms around Dean's neck as soon as he slid Rufus his beer.

"Well, you didn't believe me at first when I told you who you were." Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist. "Seemed like you were pretty determined to stay here."

"Well that's because I had nowhere else to go. Why would I believe some random man I just met in a bar? You know, since I started working here I have been mistaken for someone's cousin three times, a son twice and someone's husband twice not including yours. So, im sorry I didnt believe you, but its a bar for God's sake."

Dean playfully rolled his eyes and pressed a small kiss to the corner of Castiel's mouth.

"I showed you a picture of us. How many people can do that?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Castiel shrugged.

"You'd be surprised. When we go back I don't want anything different from what we had, the job may have been dangerous, but it was something I was really good at."

Dean looked up at Castiel in surprise and bit his lip.

"You're really good at plenty of things, Cas." He murmured.

"Oh my God. Is that Dean Winchester, showing fear?" Castiel asked, gasping dramatically, even going so far as to put his hand to his chest.

Dean looked Castiel in the eyes and nodded.

"Yeah." He quietly said. "I'm scared of losing you again. I had to hear that you were dead just when I got home. I had to organize your funeral and I had to try to get used to the fact that I would never see you again."

Castiel brought his hand up to Dean's cheek again.

"Hey, I'm here now. I'm fine, if not a little loose in the brain, but do you really think I could go back to an IT job? After all we've seen and done?"

Dean leaned into the touch, taking a shaky breath.

"We were going to quit eventually, Cas." He murmured. "And yeah, I'm- I'm gonna miss it too, but losing you... It's not worth it. Nothing's worth losing you."

Castiel smiled at Dean.

"Is this really what you want? A nice little retirement on our beach with nothing but each other for company? I know how much you liked our job, I don't want to bore you."

"You? Bore me?" Dean chuckled and pressed a small kiss to Castiel's lips. "Never. And it won't be retirement. We can still have jobs. I-I've been thinking about being a fireman." There was the whole starting a family thing too, which they discussed a little before Castiel 'died', but they could talk about it later. They had time now.

"Aww, you get to have the fun exciting job. IT work is boring." Castiel complained as he leaned into Dean's chest. "And I'd have to deal with assholes all day." He said pouting against Dean.

"Then go for something more interesting." Dean offered with a slight grin. "My neighbor across the hall at the building I moved into, her name's Charlie and she's a computer genius. I'm not sure what exactly she's doing but she says it's better than IT."

Castiel perked up at that.

"Okay. As soon as my shifts over we'll go find Joshua. And Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean murmured, biting his lip. He couldn't wait to get home with Castiel again, finally together.

"I think I want a girl first." He said smiling up at the green eyes he fell in love with so long ago.

Dean's eyes lit up even more and he chuckled, pulling Castiel in for a kiss. "I think I'm absolutely up for that." He grinned against Castiel's lips. "When's your shift over?"


End file.
